I wanted to post something today. But, I didn't know what to write on the blog. Until, I read my first ever comment. Honestly, I felt a bit "low" when I noticed in the first three days, there was no single comment posted on my blog. I thought maybe my posts weren't so "exciting" that people just visited and went away just in a nick of times. No worries. I still received one precious comment from Ian. A comment that keep me motivated to write another one. He advised me that I shouldn't worry too much cause I am still young and try to find gay friends. Gay friends...yes gay friends....I am gay but I don't have any gay friends. Ok now you would think that I am a lousy, bad and C grade gay boy. Maybe yes...maybe no. Actually I have reasons that I don't have any. I spent my whole academic years from kindergarten to high school in one of the smallest city in Indonesia. So being gay was a taboo. There was no single conversation about gay in my school. I am not lying. People think everybody is straight. Gay is the word only mentioned in modern countries. So, I don't remember any gay couple that I knew in my place. That is why it is affecting me on how I handle my gay life. I don't go to gay places. It is because I am scared, I am not ready to let people know that I am gay and I am too stupid to expect something good coming in my gay life without doing anything that make me really "enter" into the gay world. The only thing that make me gay are visiting gay porn websites and becoming horny when I see hot guys. That's all. Yeah, I am still young, I still have the chance but when I have to grab the chance. The only place that I try to lure guys' attentions is in public transports. And you don't want to know how I made the moves because if they were successful I won't be here nagging about my life. Talking about "nagging". I feel that my blog is all about frustrations. Maybe something good will happen next. Hope so...
